A few weeks ago, Pastor Ben, Kristi, and I had the opportunity to take a short, prayerful staff retreat at Iliff Commons. During the retreat, we each took time to pray and discern what God might be saying to us as we serve and lead our church. One of Ben’s takeaways came from the story of Jesus calling his first disciples, and telling them to cast their nets out in deep water for a catch of fish. He wanted us to think through the question, are we casting our nets in the places where Jesus asks us to? Are we spending our time and energy in places that really matter?
I was struck by this as it relates to my own family, and thought it might be helpful for other families in our church, too, as we navigate life together. I’ve noticed that in this season, there are so many good things vying for families’ time and attention. Sports, other extracurriculars, festivals, get-togethers – all of them seem so good, or maybe so important. “This activity really needs a leader. If I don’t step up, who will?” “If my kids don’t make it to the extra rehearsal, they’re letting the rest of the group down.” “It won’t take that much of my time to serve on the board for this group; surely I can squeeze it in.” Don’t get me wrong; sometimes God might be asking us to serve in a certain way. Sometimes a certain activity might really bless our kids and help them to grow. However, I think we need to be thoughtful about where we are casting our nets.
As parents, we get to set the tone for our families. We get to pray and discern and lead our children, deciding what kind of family we are going to be, and where we are going to invest our time and energy. Let’s put the big things in place first. For instance, right now in my family, we want to cast our nets in these places: connecting with one another, helping our girls experience the joy of music, making space for rest and play, and learning about Jesus together. Are we doing these things perfectly? Absolutely not! But this gives us something to aim for. And, it makes us a bit easier to know when to say yes and when to say no when presented with new opportunities.
A band that I enjoy, The Arcadian Wild, has a song that talks about busyness, and the importance of saying no to things that don’t really matter. In “The Anthem of Mr. Dark,” the songwriter says, “The fabric of my soul is frayed and falling apart at the seams. I’m tied up and tied down by the strings of other people’s dreams.” After lamenting about the state of his soul, he resolves, “Someday I’ll learn to say no. I’ll find a way to lighten my load.” This is something I find myself frequently needing to reflect on and evaluate: Is my soul feeling frayed? Are my kids souls’ feeling frayed? Am I saying no to things that don’t really matter? Am I saying yes and “letting down my nets” in the places where God is asking me? Am I helping my kids and my family to do the same?
Let’s be a people who “cast our nets” with purpose, listening to Jesus’ call in our lives, rather than allowing our schedule to be a tyrant which dictates how we use our time and energy. Let’s disciple our kids to be thoughtful from the very start about how they fill their days, even when it might mean saying no to something good to pursue something better. And as we pray through these difficult questions, let’s rest confidently in the promise found in James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
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